Who Am I?

Who are you? Who am I? A life long question that we tend to ask ourselves all our lives. Trying to spend most of the time figuring out our roles and our places in life.

Who am I? On the surface, I am my parent's child, my sister's sister. I am but a normal person who walks the same streets as many ordinary people, for I am myself ordinary. In a mere 21 years, I have seen the world changing through the works of revolutionist. I am but a person, drifting through life. 

On the inside, that's what I keep hidden. My hidden-self if you would. The weird side, the inner geek in me that prefers a comic book store instead of a candy shop. The one who thinks roses and candlelight dinners are a waste of time and money and the perfect date would be at a boxing ring. Fun as that may seem, the inner reaches of me is a dark place. A place where negative thoughts, fantasies and memories are kept hidden within my "Pandora's Box", only to leak out from time and causes PMS. 

Still ongoing a journey of self discovery which the horizon seems so far away. Through many trials and tribulation but also discovering a few oasis are found during this journey. But for now, who am I? I am my own individual character who is a mixture of quirky, unique, one of a kind, and downright psychotic. 

“You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 

'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.” 

It's normal for kids to have imaginary friends, but what about a kid who personifies his stuffed tiger in a way that readers get to see his toy the way he sees it (although other characters see him as only a toy)? Calvin and Hobbes are the dynamic duo that really pushes and shows how unique and wild a child's imagination can be without being restricted. 

Although somewhat cynical and sarcastic at times, the comics provides good reads as it is light and enjoyable to read. Exploring the wild and imaginative mind of Calvin with Hobbes acting as his subconscious dual nature.  

Calvin in the series  portrays classic symptoms of hyperactivity, narcissism and an overactive imagination. His IQ might also most likely be above average as he shows intelligence through very sophisticated and bombastic vocabulary for a kid his age. Hobbes somehow acts as his alter ego in my opinion because he is more cynical and more of a party-pooper (or down to earth). 

The entire comic series shows a bunch of dysfunctional characters. Calvin, who is smart and wild but also shows his inability to be nice to people and thinks everyone is below him (although he is show to be compassionate and emotionally vulnerable). His parents also are shown to be quite fed up with him at times and at times, try to deny him as their son due to his weird and outlandish behavior.  Classic example of today's society in which children's creative and unorthodox imaginations are squishes, restricted and labelled as a deviance to fit the norms of today.

In conclusion, Calvin & Hobbes is a comforting read as we are able to relate and it brings back memories of how carefree and wild our imaginations used to be without the restrictions of logic and common sense. It also brings back a sense of nostalgia as we get a glimpse back into our childhood in which we played outdoors and creating and acting to weird and crazy storylines with the neighborhood kids instead of being glued to electronics and virtual realities. 

Convergence Through Art

An art gallery, not what you'd typically find in a shopping complex but it is in my opinion a great location as shoppers get to kick back and relax and enjoy the artworks of not so renowned local artists.

 Convergence is the current collection now on display at the Petronas Gallery in KlCC. This collection showcases of the growth and expansion on Malaysia's oil and gas industry (or so it says on the brochure at the entrance) Big waste of space and time in my opinion. I mean, who'd wanna go look at paintings of oil and gas? (I was skeptical of the bayan tree root on the cover of the brochure too). However, what you'd expect inside was nothing like what I imagined it to be. 

The collection of artworks displayed in the gallery weren't that of oil rigs and such, but rather tranquil pieces of landscapes painted on canvas with water colours that really helped make it seem more dreamy. Like little glimpses into the past that churns your nostalgic side. The hidden meaning behind it expresses the relevance of the old traditions and values that should be applied in the current economy. 

Although the gallery might not be The Louvre or Madam Tussauds that houses the artworks of world famous pieces by big-shot artists, but it does give off an air of accomplishment. And a feeling of gladness to know that the ways and values of the past are still unforgotten. This exhibition has touched me in a way and also indirectly reminded me of the more carefree days living away from the big city. 

Green Eggs & Ham

"Do you like green eggs and ham?"

Ask that to any child and they'd either give you a disgusted look or nod enthusiastically at the idea of consuming green food. 
In the book, the character Sam-I-Am consistently pesters another unnamed character to sample his dish of green eggs and ham. The other however declines the offer. (It probably didn't look appetizing and just plain weird in my opinion) 
However, the persistent Sam-I-Am chases the other character around insisting that he try his dish. Going to the extent to ask if he would like to try it in different location and with different animals. 

And when he finally gives in to Sam-I-Am and samples the green eggs and ham, he finds out that he has taken fancy to the dish and likes it. 

Although the story screams desperation in Sam-I-Am's case, it reflects the persistent behavior of a child to encourage others to try their "masterpieces". Not only children, but also people of all ages to attempt to get others to try their creations and sample new things. 
The unnamed character reflects our hesitation to try new things (or weird looking things) as we have the assumption that we would not like it, before we have even tried it. 

To be honest, we've watched food enthusiast travel all around the world sampling unique (and sometimes disgusting) cuisine. Anthony Bourdain, Andrew Zimmers, Samantha Brown etc.. And watching them eat the food of the locals, we've all gone "EEEEWWW!" 

Dr.Suess amazingly manages to portray human's reluctance to accept change and things that deviate from the norm of society in this short story that uses simple english. Things that are usually tossed aside or blocked out just because it looks different. How many times have we shaken our heads or turned down an offer just because its outer appearance looks different from what we had imagined it to be? 
Maybe if we had given it a shot, like the unnamed character in the end, we would've found out that we shouldn't have judges a book by its cover (or food by its colour) and that we would have enjoyed it. 

Overall, a good read as the whimsical illustrations of coloured food and comical tone makes it all the more enjoyable.  

Twirls & Swirls

The glass of burgundy elixir seems oh so tempting, the siren like calls of fire water. They seduce me sweetly in the darkness of night. But I should know better. These demons tempt me so that time passes without me knowing, my actions unaccounted for. I have lost count to how many times I have woken up in a bed that is not mine, a stranger lying next to me. Rituals I must perform everyday to satisfy my cravings for their sweet yet burning sensation, to satisfy my ever longing for the taste of them on my tongue. 

Nobody understands me, why I do the things I do. The people whom I call my parents shun me, they claim I am one under a spell. But I know better than to fight these compulsions. The more I do, the sicker I become, like the demon inside me is being exorcised and my mortal body becomes collateral damage. I can never stay committed in a relationship. People either leave me or the same elixir that we both crave claims their lives.

Problems arise at work. Whispers of my so called "habits" echo around the office. Whenever I walk into a room, silence followed by hush whispers among those who think they are better then me. Well, they can take their 'holier-then-thou' attitude and shove it up each other's ass! 

The stash I keep under my bed I keep well hidden. No one can know where they are, or they will take it away from me. The effects are leaving me as well. Nightcaps have little effect, I require more to get to the point of euphoria, sips are what ladies in the Victorian era take.

The logical side of me forces me to go for weekly rehab meetings. The bunch of them pathetic bunch sit around and confess their problems to the counselor whom they have mistaken for a priest. That so-called priest is a wolf in sheep's clothing- a wife beater. The 12 steps I have climbed and have fallen off the wagon each time. Not because I am weak, but because the world seems so much more at peace when I am not myself. 

After each meeting, I return to my bottle. The mantra we chant each week echos through my thoughts : 

"God give me serenity to accept things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

And I am forced to admit to myself that- I am  incomplete without my aqua vitae. I, am an alcoholic.